Think think think.

I know what kind of person I want to be, and I think I'm doing alright in my efforts to become that person. In my head, there's this vast framework of stuff that I want to do that will help me get there, like living in Holden Village for a year, or doing Teach for America, or joining the Peace Corp. I'm afraid that doing all three of these things would be some excuse to stay out of the "real world". I mean, Holden would be a year, and TFA and the Peace Corp are both two year commitments. That's five years right there. I'd be 27 if I did that all rapid-fire right after graduation.

I worry about having a teaching license and doing TFA. It might be seen as a redundancy of experiences, and I'm already committed to going to the UCC Synod in Hawaii the summer that would be my TFA training period. Not that going to Hawaii is tragic.

I know I think about all this stuff too much, but I don't know how else to sort it out in my head. Is there such a thing as too many options? Right now, I think what I want to do after I graduate (three years form now, mind you) is work and live in Holden Village, perhaps my favorite place on earth, for a year while I apply to the Peace Corp. That would give me twelve months to clear my mind outside of a school. The Corp has many opportunities for English teachers, and if my Spanish gets good enough it would be useful in the Corp and at Holden.

But what about Morgan? Sometimes I feel like our current long-distanceness is divine practice dictated from above, preparing us for an even longer separation. The Peace Corp has a program for spouses; that would be amazing, but I know not to think that far ahead in any but the most vague of terms.

I have plenty of time to figure all of this out, but maybe I just need to let it be.